Smart Love

A recent Associated Press article published by Yahoo declared that U.S. divorce rates are on the decline. Did anyone notice? Take a quick stab at the perceived reasons... (whistling......). If you guessed any of the following, kudos.

1. More people live together without marrying (10 times more likely now than in 1960)


2. Less people marry today (down 30% since 1975)


3. People wait longer to marry

Marriage scholars quoted in the article alerted us to another disparity. It's called the marriage divide. It seems that a couple's education and wealth play a role in whether couples will stay together. "The rate of breakups within 10 years of marriage dropped by one-third in college educated women while remaining stable among less educated women." The article goes further to say that couples who are staying together expect a less traditional wife role and that the wife working is the "great stabilizer" in the marriage.

I don't know whether to cheer or yell. My critical side is saying that men are too comfortable not being expected to be the sole provider in the family.

I remember gushing to a girlfriend in the second week after I married that being at home and not worrying about the bills "felt like what I was meant to do all my life."

Today I'm less romantic about the stay at home lifestyle. I realize that it's not fun to be home all day because nobody else is there with you. Once you have kids you want to do anything but be home all day with them (they'd tear up the house) if you didn't get out of there.

I'm happy that some things in marriages today are working, but we are far from being clear from danger. Men could use the pressure of being depended on. And women will have to learn domestic skills if children are going to realize their potential. As the article proclaimed, despite the positive trend in marriage outcomes, children are still getting a raw deal.