Regaining Sexual Integrity

In this book Tanya Martin walks Christians who struggle with sexual sin through the steps and processes to beating the habits of intercourse, masturbation, and pornography. Along the way she discusses the many roots of the sex problem in Christendom: self-esteem issues, refusal to curb media diets, picking and choosing which parts of the bible to believe, not forgiving ourselves, and not letting go of disappointments (about family dysfunction, broken hearts, etc.), lack of scripture memorization, and lack of meditating (repeating, singing, humming, remembering, talking about with friends and family) on scriptures that express how God feels about us. This book caused my heart to break again for the lowly lives we lead which fall far beneath our God-given potential. Especially in light of the recent affair by the South Carolina Senator, and the homicide of Steve McNair by his lover, my heart cries out to Christians to keep trying until we gain victory in this area.

Though the title suggests that Martin will treat the Proverbs 31 woman, she does not. I posit that the title is Martin’s way of reminding us that abstinence is only until marriage. At marriage, we bring our virtue as singles into our new relationship and allow it to be shaped by God in partnership with our spouse.

Celibacy in College

by Tamara F.

College can be and most often is the most fun, exciting carefree times in a person’s life. Things can get very crazy and exciting: the parties, the barbecues, spring break, crazy roommates, boyfriends and girlfriends, and lots and lots of casual sex. Most of us have been there and know exactly what I am talking about. Sex is just a part of the college culture whether we like to admit it or not. If you are not having it, you are deemed a conquest, abnormal, or probably a “Jesus freak”. As a woman who decided to take the path of celibacy, I was met with those assumptions.
I decided to take this path after realizing that having sex can seriously complicate a relationship, and I was tired of residing in a place of not knowing how I was being perceived by my significant other. I had plenty of guy friends who would tell me stories about being with a girl just so that they'd have a steady flow of sex in their lives, even though they could care less that girl, was messing around with a slew of others and would oftentimes dog her behind her back to his friends because she was not a girl that he cared about. Then I had tons of girlfriends who would just have casual sex all the time just to secure a date! When I say date I don’t mean dinner and movies, but just someone to call company, be it in their dorm rooms or at 3am at his apartment. They were looking for the type of love or approval that you will NEVER get by bed hopping.
I did not want this to be me.

The easiest solution I had, was not to put myself in that position any longer. I would know that my guy is truly there for me once he put that ring on my finger and declared me as his and only his forever until death, yes… FOREVER.

Celibacy can be a beautiful thing, especially while living in the midst of all the craziness that college has to offer, the good times and bad. By taking a vow of celibacy, you quickly decrease the bad. You easily eliminate some of the most difficult issues that college can hand to a person; unplanned pregnancies and possible abortions, STDs, bad reputations, life changing secrets for the future etc. So much like myself, I would suggest those who are in college to do themselves this favor, and just make life a tad bit easier and find a new hobby :)


Meet our intern Tamara Ferguson, a recent graduate of San Diego State University. Tamara earned a BA in Women’s Studies and is pursuing a law degree. In San Diego, Tamara was active in service organizations that targeted women, including JC’s Girls an outreach ministry to women who are looking for support as they exit the adult entertainment industry. We are so happy to have Tamara with us. We're sure she'll go on to change the world!

Lost Hope

Today I will attend Together for Life a rally and silent march for the unborn. This is one of the yearly cause awareness events that I attend. This year I am anxiously awaiting the keynote address which will be given by Dr. Alveda King, the niece of the late Dr. Martin Luther King. On the rally flyer, Dr. A. King was quoted as saying, “The right of life is a civil right that transcends political parties.” I’m sure this quote was used to draw the connection to King’s family and the Civil Rights Movement and to show her awareness of how polarized US political parties have become, especially in their rhetoric surrounding issues related to pregnancy and the unborn.

I was “delivered” from ethnocentricity or afrocentricity years ago, so I don’t intentionally allow race to guide my thoughts on all other issues. But it strikes me that not more of those who consider themselves Black or African-American first and above all are concerned about the health inequities related to abortion and African-Americans. The largest percent of women who seek abortions are African-American. That means the largest percent of babies who are aborted are black. People will explain that poverty and/or fatherlessness are correlated to those statistics, but there is a more significant factor which those statistics demonstrate. What those who seek abortion express is that they have lost hope; they've lost hope in their ability to succeed against all odds, and lost hope that Almighty God will not allow the righteous to be forsaken.

Since I have brought up Civil Rights, I’ll end with an analogy drawn from an even darker era of black history: slavery. Slavery was, in most cases, debilitating for Blacks, yet motherhood was not abandoned. Some would argue that slavery was grounds for abortion, a case which is made in Toni Morrison’s Beloved, but I do not share that opinion, nor did enough of the pregnant slaves. As African-Americans we have ourselves as evidence. The hope that is within me demands that I hold a different opinion--one that labors in hope even when my environment would influence me to give up. I hope this year, as I do every year, that more of my brothers and sister would adopt this hope when they are faced with unfavorable circumstances surrounding a pregnancy--when they are faced with the option of choosing life for their unborn.